you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
