I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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