Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
