soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
