Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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