Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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