ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
