Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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