Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
