My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
