omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
