His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
