she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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