why do cheetos always look like penises
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
