my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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