just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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