Your mouth is God's brothel.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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