idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
