Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
