the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Text me some of your sweat
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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