To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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