I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
