Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
