my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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