Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
