dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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