the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
