Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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