If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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