We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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