Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
