You work out of a Hotel?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
