Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
