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I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
im six kinds of drunk right now
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
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