Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me

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  (323): Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me http://tfl.nu/d8jq
  Replies (9) Good night (4503) Bad night (2131)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.

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  (619): I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people. http://tfl.nu/8ypc
  Replies (2) Good night (1262) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke

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  (469): She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke http://tfl.nu/g6cx
  Replies (15) Good night (959) Bad night (4602)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night

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  (859): i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night http://tfl.nu/g2hp
  Replies (16) Good night (1148) Bad night (3697)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.

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  (714): my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused. http://tfl.nu/3089
  Replies (14) Good night (2654) Bad night (767)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away

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  (772): I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away http://tfl.nu/uyq2
  Replies (6) Good night (1011) Bad night (497)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.

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  (417): Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week. http://tfl.nu/s5do
  Replies (1) Good night (615) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice

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  (920): I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice http://tfl.nu/vmg8
  Replies (5) Good night (932) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..

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  (919): I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number.. http://tfl.nu/y7re
  Replies (8) Good night (1292) Bad night (838)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.

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  (615): I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good. http://tfl.nu/yrgk
  Replies (7) Good night (1562) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.

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  (843): Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now. http://tfl.nu/4hes
  Replies (3) Good night (401) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire

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  (404): Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire http://tfl.nu/4cfz
  Replies (3) Good night (392) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.

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  (757): I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me. http://tfl.nu/r9ax
  Replies (0) Good night (452) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL

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  (330): easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL http://tfl.nu/8uqk
  Replies (4) Good night (847) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She didn't like my gingervitis joke

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  (703): How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go? (202): She didn't like my gingervitis joke http://tfl.nu/5820
  Replies (2) Good night (971) Bad night (302)

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