But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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