i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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