Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(302): View more from Delaware

I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.

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(650): View more from California

I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.

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(314): View more from Missouri

great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter

(1-314): View more from Missouri

at least I said it was good

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(956): View more from Texas

Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(978): View more from Massachusetts

I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.

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(458): View more from Oregon

Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.

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(574): View more from Indiana

There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?

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(206): View more from Washington

I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.

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