I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE