No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts