ya dads aren't the best wingmen
More tranny stories later!
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
