So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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