And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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