anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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