In America we eat man semen.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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