I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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