i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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