we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
