Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize