i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
