you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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