So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
