as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
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