i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
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He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
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exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.