I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize