I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize