She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize