We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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