If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
So many bounce houses so little time
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
