I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
They took my balls.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
