So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
