I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
