he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
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You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So much rum. So many feels.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
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Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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