woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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