I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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