There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
